Withheld
by No Fate 1990
Summary: Addison and Sam experience a miscarriage. Later on they have a son named Jase that has a learning disability. Reviews are welcome.
1. Withheld

Date: 12-12-2012

Addison's p.o.v

No heartbeat. Those two words crushed my heart. I had carried this little life inside me for just only eight weeks. Sam and I were looking forward to becoming parents.

Who knew bringing forth a dead fetus could be such heartache? In labor, I now experience the worst pain of my life. Distraught, I toss and turn underneath the

bedsheets. These painful cramps of mine never seem to end. Sam has never once left my side. "I am not going anywhere" Sam assures me squeezing my hand. "Our

dead fetus..it hurts so much" I sob rubbing my stomach. Feeling the need to urinate, I wobble toward the bathroom accompanied by my husband. Halfway into the

bathroom, I fall to my knees. I feel a sharp pain and then a gush of water. "The pregnancy is now over" the doctor announces wrapping the dead fetus in a towel. "We

lost our baby" heartbroken, I cry in Sam's arms. "I love you" emotional, he whispers stroking my hair. We bid farewell as I am escorted to the operation room where

surgery cleans out my womb.


	2. Incurable Pessimism

Date: 1-18-2013

Sam's p.o.v

Fire burning within the human soul

A dying dream

It is the hard knock life, same old rhythm and blues.

Life is not a fairytale

Underattack twenty four seven, heaven doesn't exist.

Rain reign over me forever

Endless doubt and fear gives a voice to my insecurities

My tourniquet

In the path of thorns and unicorns

Spirit of the ocean

Smile and stay for a while, child of the dawn


	3. No more Goodbyes

Date: 2-14-2013

Addison's p.o.v

No more goodbyes

Open your eyes and realize I am still here

Winter may come, but your heart will always be my home

Extraordinary life with a beautiful soul

Ease on down the road of life

Precious sweetheart

Radiant sunshine

An unforgettable serene gentle spirit

You will see me again someday so don't say farewell


	4. The Gift of Eternity

Date: 3-13-2013

Sam's p.o.v

Eternal glory

The flames of passion

Ever the same is your love for me

Ready or not, here comes another funny joke

Naked vulnerable soul, please come and talk to me for a while

Always and forever true, my heart is your home

Laughter echoes throughout our house every hour

Ode to joy, solitude and prosperity

Victorious, we conquer obstacles with the help of Jesus

Even if the world is on fire, we will never depart


	5. Echoes of the past

Date:4-24-2013

Addison's p.o.v

Surfacing afterglow

Haunted memories

A time to say goodbye and let go of dying dreams is right now

Random unspoken thoughts

Echoes of regrets

God's blessings or maybe not?

Repression

Endless internal spiritual odyssey

Time's magical healing hands

Infinite heavenly bliss

May tomorrow be better than today, I pray

Even though I make mistakes, I am still loved


	6. Rewind back to the beginning

Date: 5-3-2013

Sam's p.o.v

When the lights go down, I'll own my mistakes and you can't fix me.

You don't consider me to be cool anymore because I am a fool. You set

me free to find peace of mind. Born of the dawn, heaven is like a fawn

that is always passing me by. I wish I knew the error of my ways earlier

instead of later on in life. Please rewind back to the beginning before pride

made me feel empty inside. Please rewind back to the beginning before karma

destroyed me. When the lights go down, I will be the only one in the world wearing

a frown. History repeats itself over and over again twenty four seven. Torn asunder,

I blame my misery on myself. This forsaken ghost town of broken dreams deserves to

burn in a very hot oven. There is nowhere left for me to run. I turn around and face the

music. Bleeding crimson, I am the tragic hero in this horrific fairytale. I wail, but nobody

cares enough to listen. I realize its a little too late to make any improvements or changes.

I can't undo the past, how long must this madness and sadness last? Shown no mercy, these

heavenly heavily burdened brown eyes of mine drown in the ocean along with the son of God.


	7. OptimisMirth

Date: 6-27-13

Addison's p.o.v

Back on cloud nine

Life is a real life fairytale story

I see your true colors every hour of each day

Tomorrow's hope

Heavenly blue skies will surround us

Earth angel, please never release me from your embrace

Anyplace, anytime or anywhere, there is grace

Vulnerable, peace and patience struggle to find a voice

Everything that you do matters to the world and I am proud of you

Not now but soon, the moon will rise up from the ashes


	8. Scarlet Destiny

Date: 7-22-2013

Sam's p.o.v

Graceland

Road to recovery

Indescribable birth experience

Endless self sacrifice

Freewill and destiny shake hands

Apocalyptic poetic muse

The heart of time

Erasable legacy

X marks the spot where a life ended and another one started

Hello again, black magic and bloody teardrops

A beautiful tragic happy ending

Let the words flow and the sparks fly

Enchanted wedding bliss

A first and last chance to think outside the box

Visible celestial glow

Empty newly built labyrinth


	9. Essence of Greatness

Date: 8-20-13

Addison's p.o.v

Possible potential greatness, a radiant afterglow, the spotlight.

The essence of true beauty, learning to live without any makeup

or hair extensions. Glorious splendor, newborn hope, a real life fairytale

romance. Nature's hidden wonders, unwritten thoughts, emerging shadows.

Summer's dawn, enchanted diamond jubilee, a huge victory over cancer.

Uncommon uniqueness, an unbreakable strength, a childish faith. A

priceless treasure, your down to earth personality intrigues me.


	10. Reality Throwback

Date: 9-13-13

Sam's p.o.v

Still the same time after time

Home remains my refuge

A soft place to land

Right here in your arms

Eden

A bedtime fantasy

Long-awaited miracle

I live an easy carefree lifestyle up there in the clouds

Time is on my side or maybe not

You are successful, but where does that leave me in the real world?

Ordinary and yet blessed, I celebrate my own accomplishments

Upside down is this beautifully broken world of ours


	11. A Life in Bloom

Date: 10-13-2013

Addison's p.o.v

Creature of the womb

October baby

Wanted long-awaited miracle

One and only true love

Momentary muse

Beloved small wonder

Angel of the crossroads

Blessed assurance

You complete my life

* * *

Date: 10-23-2013

Scene: The Doctor's office

Situation: Ultrasound test

Doctor (checking Addison's cervix): You are not fully dilated

Addison: What?!

Doctor: You had false labor pains

Addison (complaining): I am going to be pregnant forever

Sam: We might have a Halloween baby. Have you ever thought about that?

Addison (smiling at the thought): Somewhat

Doctor (examining the baby's position): I feel the baby's butt instead of his head

Addison (panicky): What does that mean?

Doctor: The baby is breached. If the baby continues to stay in this position, it will become dangerous for both you and him

Sam: Is it possible for the baby to change positions?

Doctor: Yes. I can use my hands to move the baby. The procedure may cause early labor or a lot of pain. You can practice exercises such as yoga. If the baby doesn't change positions by your next visit, a cesarean section must be done asap.

Addison (determined): I am sure the baby will change positions

Scene: The next day: 10-24-2013

(Sam walks in on Addison doing yoga in the den)

Sam: Whoa..

Addison (startled): Sam!

Sam: Are you sure yoga will help the situation?

Addison: Yes. I desire to have a natural childbirth experience.

Sam: Whats so special about a natural birth?

Addison: However shall we bond?

Sam: Its your body. Its your life.

Date: 10-29-2013

Scene: The Doctor's office-Ultrasound test

Doctor (examining the baby's position): The baby is still breached

Addison: What?! How?!

Doctor: The baby must be stubborn

Addison: Whats the next step?

Doctor: A cesarean section must take place asap

Sam (squeezing Addison's hand): Everything will be ok

Scene: The Same Day-The Emergency Room-The Cesarean section

Addison (emotional, she is under a lot of pressure): Ouch..

Sam (comforting Addison): Everything will be ok

Addison (feeling discomfort): Ouch..

Doctor (pulling the baby out of Sam): Addison, I apologize for your discomfort. We are trying to get the baby out.

(Silently, Jase enters the world. Nurses work hard to revive the baby)

Addison (worried): Has my baby been born yet? If so, why isn't he crying?

Doctor (closing Addison's womb): The baby had trouble breathing when he was born. The nurses are working on her right now.

Scene: Addison's recovery room

(A nurse enters the room carrying Jase who is wrapped up in a blue blanket. Jase is full of energy. Sam and Addison receive Jase with opened hearts)


	12. Precious Blessing

Date: 10-29-2013

Sam's p.o.v

Goodluck is what I wish for you

Ready to shine, you are a shooting star

Everlasting source of joy and inspiration

American dreamer

Time and success are on your side

Artistic genius

Life without you, I can't imagine it because you are such a precious blessing

Even though you are famous, you never forget to give back to the community

Neverending, determination takes you far in life

Today and tomorrow, you will always have my support


	13. Heart of Birth

Date: 10-29-13

Addison's p.o.v

Mindless dream

Infant joy

Neverending labor of love

Dearly beloved gift of life

Ready for a fresh new beginning

Endless happy endings are on the horizon

An act of God is this wonderful miracle of birth

Magnolias adorn the streets of heaven today, tomorrow and forevermore


	14. Embrace Special Needs

Date: 2-22-22

Sam's p.o.v

Shadow of the day

Person with special needs

Everyday I appreciate you more and more

Can I be your friend?

In my arms, you will be safe

Amazing extraordinary life

Living on a prayer

Open your heart and I will open my eyes to see the light

Vibrant, your true colors are a rainbow

Energetic Olympian spirit


	15. A Time to Unwind and Recreate

Date: 5-25-25

Addison's p.o.v

Lingering self doubt

One epic brain shutdown

Secret hidden passion

Temporary writer's block

Rebellious creative genius

Expand your horizons

Nighttime traveler

Goddess of love and art

Take time out to listen to your heartbeat

Heatless flames

Ordinary human names

Precious, these fairytale characters dance around in your head

Eyes of lost desire

Next day fresh breath of air

Strange beautiful paradise

Untouchable muse

Rainbow spirit

Endless source of inspiration


	16. Rainbow Spirit

Date: 7-27-27

Sam's p.o.v

Still the same

Time only knows what will become of me in the future

As the years go by

Remember me

American sweetheart

I like you the way you are and vice versa

Naked vulnerable soul

Open your eyes and embrace the dawn

Wonderstruck, you appear just like a rainbow before me


	17. The Special Slow Learner

Date: 8-8-28

Addison's p.o.v

The special slow learner

Hope yet to be destroyed

Echoes of great potential

Student with a learning disability

Intelligent genius in the making, an inspirational muse of mine

Stay strong and keep marching forward, champion

Please never lose sight of your goal

Exceptionally bright light

Love is on your side at all times

Life continues to be a series of obstacles and milestones for you everyday


	18. Hazy Daze

Date: 10-29-29

Jase's p.o.v (Addison and Sam's son)

Pale blue skies

Repetitive false hope

Insecurities

Sounds of celebration, a dying pipe dream

My turtle brain

A car moving in slow motion

Student with a learning disability

History in the making

A success story yet to be written

Zenith

Your hazy memories

Ongoing longsuffering and determination

Undeniable beautiful special bright light


End file.
